staying positive

as i get older i'm finding it harder and harder to stay positive about things. it actually really bums me out sometimes. the things that used to make me happy just don't do the trick anymore. maybe it's that i had higher expectations for what life was going to bring me as an adult but for right now, i can say that i definitely wish i was a kid again. but who doesn't!

i don't want to be a negative person or in a depressed state because i know that being that way only brings more negativity into your life, it's like a magnet for all bad things. luckily, doing the opposite and being positive can do the same sort of thing except bringing positivity rather than negativity into your life! so instead of wallowing in my own self pity and wasting my precious days away i'm trying to find new things that make me happy and hopefully in the long run, find a new positive path in which to lead my adult life. i'm still trying to figure out what i want to do with this life of mine and i think that is my main problem right now. i think way too much and hurl myself in to this negative mindset, when really there is nothing to worry about!

I have always practiced mediation and i recently starting doing yoga, but i've been trying to do both daily to relax my body and mind. i've seen improvements in my yoga skills however, my meditation still needs work. but i hear meditation takes years of practice to start feeling the benefits from it, so i'm just going keep at it!

i've also been trying to revisit some old things i used to do to see if it may make me feel a bit more at ease on days that i'm struggling to stay happy and positive. i was unpacking a box of my old things a couple of days ago because i'm still not completely unpacked into my new room yet (even though we moved in 5 months ago!) and i came across some of my old diaries. they were actually hilarious, i was laughing out loud at some of the things i wrote and it was beautiful to actually be able to see the innocence in my writing. i was 8/9 years old when i started writing in a diary and even though i was young i did it religiously. every single night before bed, i never missed a day. i stopped around the age of 14 and i think that's partly because i got sucked up in the busy social life of a teenager as well as being embarrassed someone might find out that i wrote in a diary. i wish i didn't stop though because i think it was extremely therapeutic for me and helped me to get anything that i need to get off my chest, off my chest. so i've start up a diary again! my older sister got me this beautiful leather bound journal for christmas last year and i haven't really known what to write in it so i've just been writing anything and everything that comes to my mind, sort of like this blog haha! i've got quotes i like, it's got some drawings of mine and just regular journal entries. i think it will be interesting to go back to it in a couple of years and re-read what i wrote because there are some things you write about and then forget right after. so i'm going to keep writing in it because it's something i'm enjoying right now.

i also like watching movies i watched as a kid. i always gravitated to certain movies to make me feel happy inside when i was worried about something or felt sad. casper, men in black, pocahontas, hocus pocus, the santa clause and jumanji are just a few.

what do you do to stay positive?

as always, stay cheeky!

jobs and grown up life

how's it going everyone?

as some of you may know i've been rather unsuccessfully searching for a job. i thought i wouldn't have any problems finding one seeing as all the university students have left for school and high school students are at school during the days. but it seems i was wrong with that assumption. WHERE HAVE ALL THE JOBS GONE!?

i'm still on the search but in the mean time i'm literally doing nothing productive during the days. my parents are cool with it and say it's actually a great opportunity for me to sit and think about what i actually want to do for the rest of my life since most people my age don't have that opportunity. my sister for example didn't go to university but got a job at my mom's work as a general admin. right out of high school. she's worked her way up to office manager which is amazing but she is really unhappy at her job! it pays her bills but she wishes she had gone to university or college so that she would have had more opportunities to try something different. she also moved out at 16 and has had two homes, mortgages, and other such bills to pay for which i never really experienced. when i left for school i was 18 and i came home to visit rather often and my school bills were basically payed for through a scholarship and my granddad's help (thanks granddad!). my sister had help from my granddad for her houses as well since that wouldn't be fair if i got money for school and she didn't. but it was still a struggle for her to stay afloat. it is just funny to see how our different choices have put us in such different places right now. the funnier thing is, we're both jealous of each other right now! i wish i had a job to make some moolah and she wishes she wasn't working so she could test the waters with different job options. although my parents are cool with this, i think my grandparents are panicking a bit haha they're concerned for what my future is going to look like (40 year old me living in my mom's basement is probably what's floating around their heads). so, that, my sister should be thankful she doesn't  have to deal with.

a couple days ago i actually had a great entrepreneurial idea. it's a secret for now though muahaha;) anyways i've been like a mad scientist in my kitchen experimenting with different things. if it turns out, which hopefully it does, then i'll share it with you guys. i hope to sell it when it's perfected:)

stay cheeky!